You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
