If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
