There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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