just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
