dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
