after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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