I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I skipped work to stalk him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
