i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
