Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
should my penis look like a turkey
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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