is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
