Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize