just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize