What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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