Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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