The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
