belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
