You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
