with your own penis?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
