my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize