No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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