Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
