While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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