I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Randomize
