I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
