just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
