my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I believe in your delicious
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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