I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
