Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
