I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
