Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize