I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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