I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize