i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
