ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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