on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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