she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am puke
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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