Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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