Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
