hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
