im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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