Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
