After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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