As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
