i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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