normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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