My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize