im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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