Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
