Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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