Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
