I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
