Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
