Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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