We won't sleep together?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
