I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
