There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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