Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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