So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize