If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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