Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
