So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have so many feelings about this burrito
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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