I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
