hotel room ftw
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
there was a trapeze. enough said
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
