he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize