Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
