Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
