the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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