turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
