Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're like the curious george of whores
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
