Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
