dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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