That's intense
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
