Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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