please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
