just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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