he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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